'I cannot find words adequate enough to fully express enough thanks due to her, for all she has been to her mother and me.'

'I cannot find words adequate enough to fully express enough thanks due to her, for all she has been to her mother and me.'

Tom relfects on the fourth woman in his life - his daughter Valerie.

Tom Sutton

Trinity College Dublin

2012

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Tom Sutton

Reflections

Life Story

Glengormley, Co. Antrim

2010s

The fourth female in my life is our daughter, Valerie. I cannot find words adequate enough to fully express enough tanks due to her, for all she has been to her mother and me. I can think back to the time her primary school teacher told her she would never pass her 11 plus exam, but she did and ended up a teacher herself at Parkhall School in Antrim. Although we were living in a ground floor apartment in the Belfast Castle estate (where we thought we'd end our days) about ten years ago Doreen began to have difficulty walking and getting about was proving difficult. Outside she used a rolator and a zimmer indoors. About eighteen months ago, Valerie head about the Lovely Fold in Carrickfergus. We viewed the cottage but never thought we'd be going there. However, a few months later, our doorbell rang and a Mr. Morris, a manager for the Fold, called and it appeared there would soon be a vacancy. As Doreen had had a few minor falls, it was the unanimous desire of our family that we should move.We have now been living in Barn Halt for fifteen months. Valerie and her husband Graham assured us they would get the place ready for us and sort out everything in the flat we were leaving. We ourselves could never have done this on our own. Our new home is closer to Valerie and Graham's home but, even so, I don't think anyone could have done as much as Valerie to make our lives as comfortable as possible.Both our sons live and work on the mainland so whilst they do visit us occasionally, Valerie is with us almost daily, doing umpteen things which Doreen used to do in the home, but now cannot, whilst I am back to my apprentice days as a housekeeper and cook.In our cottage at Barn Halt, we greatly appreciate the help we get from the support staff, who do so many things to make our lives easier and also the assistance Doreen receives from carers -four times a day. Having the doctor and chemist so close is another benefit. We also enjoy the company of the other tenants and the social gatherings we have in the large room. Yes, it was a very good move and our thanks go to Angela Williams, Manager of Barn Halt, and her staff, who have made the latter years of our life so pleasant.

Irish Research Council for Arts, Humanities & Social Sciences (IRCHSS)

Dr Kathleen McTiernan (Trinity College Dublin)

Dr Deirdre O'Donnell (Trinity College Dublin)